Holding Space

The last couple of weeks have brought forth a whirlwind of emotions as the world and day to day life is a complicated thing to maneuver for so many people. As the weeks wound to an end I found myself holding space for so many people as they themselves moved through the many challenges life has to offer. Ultimately, what I came to is that love is a fierce force to be reckoned with. Does this sound strange? Love is fierce! Love is so very fierce and unrelenting.

Each day we walk this Earth we are faced with decisions. We are faced with the question of how can we be the best or at times the worst version of ourselves. I have to add the worst version because we all know that at times in life we have made bad choices as we are created imperfect beings and only our creator is perfect. We have the power of freewill and that doesn’t always make the right choices.  But today I want to focus on love.

What love looks like to one person may look incredibly different to another. We work with and through love. We often define ourselves by our love or lack there of or even by the hope there of. Love is what most of us strive for. We strive to be some version love, to give love and be loved as we walk through this journey we call life. Love is fierce. Love comes with bumps and bruises yet it is still what we all strive to feel and essentially be.

love stillAs I have walked through my recent weeks I have sat with people loving their children and making the best situation out of the complicating factors in life. I have sat with people missing their children that live far away.  I have sat with people fighting for their children, to carry them in their bodies, to birth them, to see them and to give them the best love that they can in the midst of uncertain waters. I have sat with people walking through journeys many of us will never go through and with those that carry the secrets of those choices and will likely do so for a lifetime. I have sat with people mourning the loss of a loved ones as well as the loss of their belief in humanity.  I have sat with people trying to love themselves. It is a hard time in the world. I too sit with so many degrees of the complications of life and yet still strive to be some version of love that makes since to me and to those the I love and love me.

This week I was watching an episode of “Call the Midwife”. There was a quote that spoke
to me so loudly that I had to take note of it. “I have come to the conclusion that there are only two reasons for ever doing anything. One is love, the other is fear.” -Sister Julienne. I witness so many people walking their journey through love and fear that it is astounding. This is a powerful statement that means a lot to me on my own journey.

I wrote these small notes about the people and situations above so vague as it is not a place for me to share all the nitty gritty details of other peoples lives.  I just think it’s important to share some small detail of the bigger picture.  I witness the power of love in many forms and at times I carry this all, at times, with a gracious heaviness that is hard to explain.  I am a midwife. I am a person who holds space for not only the vital signs and medical information of pregnancy but for the stories of life that the people I sit with carry.  This is the midwife life.  This is a blessed life.  This is an interesting life. This is a life more real than I think I can every put into words.  I am thankful as well as humbled everyday to be one of the many people in this world that has been called to hold the space.

To the other gate keepers, midwives and space holders out there. Thank you for all that you do. Please don’t ever forget to put yourself on the list of those that you love as you give love to others.  Take care of yourselves and never forget how important self care is.  Find time to walk barefoot, go out into the forest, swim in a river, dive into the ocean,  hike in the desert, gaze at the stars, watch the sun rise and set, get a massage, listen to some good music, share meals and spend time with people that love you back.  You deserve it.

Stand for love!

be kind